No Alfred, Miley Cyrus Will Never Be Better
by PrussianAwesomeness
Summary: Aha, one-shot, kinda cracky. It's my headcanon that Alfred secretly likes Miley Cyrus and Matthew gives him crap for it. T for Matthew's mouth and a certain perverted comment.


******No Alfred, Miley Cyrus Will Never Be Better.**  


"Don't ya think its weird Artie and Francis are dating?" Alfred asked his brother, who rolled his eyes.

"Fuck yes," he replied. As much as he was glad for his two former father figures, it was still creepy thinking that the father who groped him and the father that tried to feed him bad food were now… doing things together officially.

Alfred puffed his chest out proudly. "Thank God nobody would be able to tie _me_ down! This hero is unstoppable!" Alfred proclaimed.

"Hmm yes Alfred. You just _can't be tamed_, eh?" Matthew teased.

"Of course!" Alfred had no idea why Matthew was smirking.

"You're just _that_ much of a hero – whenever you do something heroic you just have to have a _party in the USA_ right?"

"Duh! Who wouldn't?"

"Your parties are just a regular _hoedown throwdown_!"

"Sure as hell they are!" Alfred sighed, lying down on the grass beside his brother. "I miss the cowboy days."

"Name _7 things_ you miss about it."

"Uh… the boots, Bessie the horse, the draws, the sheriff badges, the saloons, the cool hat, _and_… just that cowboy feeling I guess."

"I hated the cowboy days."

"Why?"

"I was even more invisible then than I am now – it was like I was on a _fly on the wall_ – just watching everything happen and not be a part of it." Matthew smirked. It was so fun being subtle.

Alfred glanced over at his brother. "Come on don't say that!" he exclaimed, punching Matthew lightly in the arm.

"Ow! You hurt British Columbia!" Matthew rolled to his side to glare at his twin. "If BC gets some unexpected earthquake because of that – you're sending all the relief money."

"Chill out Canada," America said, rolling his eyes. "You're such a pussy."

"Says the guy who's in love with -" Matthew paused.

"In love with who?" Alfred asked, eyes narrowing. Matthew smirked. Alfred stared at him.

"Miley Cyrus."

"Wha-what?" Alfred exclaimed, blushing a deep red.

"Admit it – you really like her don't you?"

"N-no I don't – stop laughing Matt, I don't!"

"You secretly wish she could have a party in _your_ USA eh?" Matthew teased cheekily. He rolled to the side to avoid Alfred's punch.

"Obviously you were brought up by Francis," Alfred growled, swinging again. Matthew burst out laughing. "What about your Justin Bieber kid?"

Matthew stopped mid-laugh. "What about him?" Matthew said nervously.

"I bet you wish you could have _one time_ with him."

"Doesn't work as well."

"Er… I bet you're his favourite girl."

"One problem – I'm a dude."

"Dammit!"

"Face it Al – even as bratty as he is, Justin Bieber's still by far better than Miley Cyrus," Matthew said.

"You're just jealous you don't have a hit teen pop idol!" Alfred said pouting.

"Didn't a bunch of your people start a frenzy over him in a mall in Chicago?"

"Doesn't count."

"Isn't he going on tour in America?"

"It's a _North_ American tour."

"He's only hitting three Canadian stops – all in Ontario, he told me few days ago."

Alfred pouted some more. "Fine!" he cried out. "We love Justin Bieber here in America ok? I'll admit it!" and with that he dramatically rolled to his stomach, away from his brother. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure not _everyone_ does – hell, even I don't," Matthew said, while patting his brother's back reassuringly. "How about we start talking about actual talented stars? We're wasting breath talking about teen pop stars."

"Like who?" Alfred said, peeking at his brother with one eye.

"Like… Hedley? They're a really good band," Matthew suggested. "But I like your bands too," Matthew added, always the peacekeeper.

"Miley Cyrus is still better then all of them though," Alfred mumbled.

Matthew sighed. "We're _not_ starting this again. Come on," Matthew said, dragging his brother up to his feet. "We're getting ice cream – it's getting hot."

"Can we go harass Artie and Francis afterwards?" Gosh, when Alfred wanted to do something he was very good at being childlike. Matthew rolled his eyes.

"Sure. But if we catch them doing something that will end up permanently scarring me forever – it's _your_ fault!"

"Yea, yea whatever," Alfred said, pushing his brother forwards. "Now let's go!"

It was times like these the brothers cherished most, the really stupid pointless ones where the brothers could just be _brothers_.

* * *

**A/N: Yea I know, kinda cracky and really _really_ fail. But in my headcanon, Matthew has a tendency to harass Alfred about his celebrities and that Alfred has a really big crush on Miley Cyrus. [gee, I'm so fail] No offense to any Miley+JB fans - I actually don't mind Justin Bieber. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian, or maybe because he lived a few hours away from my city, or maybe because I feel bad for him. Eh, oh well. **

**Reviews make Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber disappear!**


End file.
